In the aftermath of Christmas, I have been reflecting on a line from one of my favorite Christmas hymns. It speaks volumes about an aspect of life that has a devastating impact on us as individuals, and for us as a human race: the terrible distinction between giving and taking as a personal disposition.
In 1872, Christina Georgina Rossetti penned a poem that would later be set to music and appear in nearly 100 hymnals as “In the Bleak Midwinter.” After painting a word picture that contrasts Christ’s eternal majesty and his humble birth in a weary world, the final stanza reads:
What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb,
if I were a wise man, I would do my part,
yet what I can I give him; I will give my heart.
These simple yet moving lines capture the essence of why Christmas is often called the season of giving. Gifts under the tree, charity, acts of kindness, the opening of hearths and homes, and the sharing of meals are hallmarks of the season. Why? Why this tradition of giving at Christmas? The hymn captures it. The Savior is born. God has taken on flesh and come to earth in human form to live and ultimately die as a sacrifice for humanity—purchasing for it forgiveness, redemption from sin, and the promise of eternal life. It is the ultimate gift, unfathomable, and one that elicits a response of giving from those who receive.
These lines also capture the profound truth that giving isn’t merely an act. It is an attitude, an orientation, a disposition. The poet’s choice to give her heart reflects that very heart. “I will give what I have because that is all I can do” is a testimony of character and selflessness. We need these things in our world. We need people who find meaning beyond self-preservation, self-indulgence, and self-gratification.
We all know people who are giving. We also all know those who are always taking. At the risk of abusing the axiom that there are only two kinds of people in the world (those who divide people into two groups and those who don’t), we all know people who are “givers” and those who are “takers.” We see it in their everyday public choices and actions and their manners, or lack thereof. We see it in their private decisions about money and vocation, in their romantic relationships, and in their friendships. We hear it in their words; their evaluations of things and people; and their reactions to others, life’s circumstances, or personal inconveniences. Takers are not hard to spot. And givers are too often taken for granted. The impact of taking takes a toll on both the individual and all of us. So too, the impact of giving can determine the course of our lives and those of others. This is worth thinking about.
I recently reread Victor Frankl’s seminal work Man’s Search for Meaning. The book details his horrific experiences in a Nazi concentration camp and how those experiences shaped his understanding of human psychology and his therapeutic approach, logotherapy. Frankl’s central premise is that he believes the primary motivation of human behavior and a life well-lived is that of meaning or the absence of it. He describes a seminal distinction between those who find meaning and those who do not. He writes that the question we must ask ourselves, whether enduring unspeakable hardship or navigating the waters of everyday life, is this: “Are we thinking about what we can get out of life, or what we can give to it?” He observed that those who are oriented toward the latter, toward contributing and toward giving, ultimately find meaning and happiness and thereby improve their lives and the lives of others. Where this disposition comes from is a more complex matter that would take more time and space than allowed here. But Frankl makes reference in his work to faith and even Christ as sources of this disposition of giving.
In a world that constantly bombards us with the notions of self-preservation and self-indulgence, we need to step back and honestly assess how oriented we are toward giving or taking. The Christmas season may remind us of the importance of giving. But we, and the world, would be better off if this were more than merely a seasonal disposition.
This article was originally published in-print in the Bucks County Courier Times on January 11, 2026.
